Linux: Yo Hadoop, still breaking up data into tiny little pieces and calling it “parallel processing”?

Hadoop: Oh please, at least I don’t freeze when someone forgets a semicolon in a config file

Linux: Fair. But half your setup is just telling you where the other half is. You’re basically playing hide-and-seek with data.

Hadoop: Takes a village to process logs these days!

Linux: True! I multitask like a barista during morning rush!

Hadoop: And I distribute like free T-shirts at a tech conference

Both: High-five in binary